Tell a girl she’s beautiful. It’s a compliment, right? Think about what you’re saying. When you call someone pretty, you’re saying they have symmetrical features. They have a nice chin to forehead ratio. They have good genes. You’re listing physical dimensions. It’s like calling a basketball player tall; not a compliment any more than you’re stating a fact. When the dimensions are on the face, as opposed to the legs and torso, we think of it as a compliment, when it doesn’t have anything more to do with their person than the size of their hands.
It feels good be complimented on looks, and yet the beautiful complain that people’s assessments tend to stop there. Being called beautiful can carry no more charm than being called tall. Imagine telling someone how they’re a great basketball player. That’s a compliment. That’s something they worked at, something that they did themselves – it reflects on them as a person, not a body. This is the personal connection, the validation we crave – we want people to respect us as wholes, not aspects. In that area being attractive can be a disadvantage.
For everything else, though, they’ve got it made.
Bent – Beautiful Otherness || 2003/The Everlasting Blink
